"It takes a village"

At least that's what I was told growing up. What they didn't tell me is that most mothers, especially millennial mothers, lack this village. My grandmother told me that when she first had kids; her mom, sister, in-laws, friends and neighbours played a huge role in raising her kids. If her child was sick, she always had someone to call. Someone who at the drop of a hat could rush over and help. Nearly all of the woman in her life and in her neighbourhood were stay at home mothers. This means getting together weekly and even daily to visit, vent and share. She always had someone to talk to, to lean on and to lend a hand. Always. When she was overwhelmed, or overworked, she was just a phone call away from having help.

I am not saying this is the case for all past generations, but statistically, it was a majority. Today, motherhood is incredibly lonely. SO many millennial moms don't have anyone to call. They see their "friends" on social media projecting a perfect life. They are too ashamed to ask for help because they know and fear the judgment of others. When your child is sick, this means a missed day of work for you or your partner. When you need a break, you lock yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes while your kids bang on the door. I've done this too many times to count. I know some modern mothers do have a support system, and while I am so happy for them and their kids, it only makes me feel worse. How can we possibly raise children exclusively alone and do it right?

I have cried countless tears in my motherhood journey. On the days I feel so overwhelmed I can hardly breathe, the only relief I am offered is a prescription... I want my mom to come over, but she lives hundreds of miles away. I want a nap, but my husband works 13-hour days and I have too much work to do. There is truly not enough hours. I want a hot cup of tea and to visit with a friend, but plans are always cancelled for some reason or another. If you can do these things, please don't take them for granted. For the moms like me. It's okay to hurt. It's okay if you can't check off that "to do" list today. It's okay if your kids get unlimited screen time today, so you can just breathe for a second. It's okay to take a break from social media. It's okay to stay in your jammies all day. It's okay if you don't take your kids to the park today. It's okay if your kids are having kraft dinner for supper for the 4th day in a row. It's okay to let your tears fall. I'll cry them right with you. We are raising our babies in uncharted territory and honestly, we deserve a damn trophy.

Self-portrait done by Raquel Klassen. Owner and operator of "Infinity & Beyond Photography.

Growing up in my family, it was not acceptable to breastfeed beyond the first year. Breastfeeding in public was shamed, and breastfeeding without a cover was sexualized. It wasn't until I had my own babies that I saw it for what it really is... The most beautiful and the most powerful bond with my baby.
Unfortunately today's society is still stuck with the same beliefs that I grew up being taught, and really it's such a shame. I see mothers hiding in their cars, hiding in bathroom stalls or avoiding going out at all together with their new baby, all because they fear judgment. A mother who chooses to breastfeed has so many obstacles to overcome, offending other people shouldn't be one. So here I will post, because maybe if we see this more, maybe if we normalize these images' society will finally see breastfeeding for what it is. A relationship worth celebrating.